Monday, November 29, 2010

Meditation - The Voice Inside

Since my body has been through the "I can't believe this is happening to me" mill in the last year. I have recently decided to start meditating to get some answers.  I have always been committed to prayer, like the Lord's Prayer, the Oh My God prayer, Help Me Now prayer, and if you Get Me Out of This One God prayer (the one asking for quick divine intervention so you don't go to jail...you know, that one). I typically pray aloud in my truck so no one thinks I'm crazy. Any bipolar who has been to the psychiatric ward knows that you cannot pray aloud close to anyone and remain out of the white coat palace. So, I drive around with my pooch and pray to God. I have prayed all of those prayers and have asked God for the mortgage payment, a lesson on love, and even insight into why all of the crazy crap happens to me.

Ever have crazy crap happen to you?

This past year, I endured incomprehensible pain due to a detached retina (no narcotics...); then I crushed my ankle on December 21st, 2009...it is still bruised today as I look at it. I have 12 pins in it and the top part of my ankle is bone on bone, so when I walk it feels funny. I had some female surgery that took out a Kiwi sized benign tumor; and now I am getting eye injections of Avastin in my left eye so I won't go blind in it. My right eye is completely compromised.

Alas, I digress. The post here is about meditation. So, here is what I've been doing.

1. Go Slow(ly)
2. Find Joy
3. Stay Grounded (see the previous blog)

I sit in the Archie Bunker chair and close my eyes. I concentrate on just breathing naturally...you'll read all kinds of ways to breathe. Jesus. Just breathe. Stop holding your breath. I am constantly reminding myself to inhale and exhale during all parts of my day. I've forgotten that breathing is key to living. I've been holding my breath for about 44 years. Now, I'm elated to say, I can do it.

Make sure your feet are flat on the ground and your arms are not crossing your body. They are relaxed next to you with your palms up. You can even do the Hindu way and make the "okay sign" with your hands. I guess it channels energy better that way.

Next, let your mind stay on your breathing. Yes. Remember the hard part. In and out. Then center your body on that and that only. You are going to get a gazillion interruptions, like I need to call my sister. I need to lose 20 pounds. I need to get gas in the car. I wonder if my dog needs to go outside. You know. That tedious stuff that interrupts the meat of life.

Here's the meat. Once you get to your happy place. You can request a simple prayer if you like. I say either out loud or internally things like, "God/Creator/Sacred Woman/Jesus/Buddha/Oprah, will you please give me information on my next phase, my next step?"

Today, here's what I got.

Ruth...you need to heal your body (DUH)...breathe. Your body is tired. Your arms and hands are tired from typing and writing books. You need to thank your body and be gentle with it. Thank your heart for all it does. Thank your hands for all they write and do for you...thank the body. It is your one and only TEMPLE...treat it gratefully and with respect.

I found myself rubbing my hands during my meditation. Then I went to my eyes and covered them with my hands and literally thanked them for all they have seen and witnessed; otherwise, there would be no books, no characters, not even this blog. I have them today - my eyes - witness all that you can.

So, find an old chair. A comfy one. Try breathing however feels best to you. Spill out a request or thought and see what happens on the inside. It is your INSIDE voice that will give you all the answers. This I hear.

Loud and clear.

Amen. I mean Awomen.

Love to you all...

Ruth

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